Our Enemies Within - Part 1

Hello,

   This is a 2-part blog that directly discusses our enemies within, and indirectly speaks of friendships - to us and others. What are "enemies within"? 'Potential Bad Habits-in-Waiting' I also call them. These can be very easy "traps" to fall into, but they are all very hard to conquer. And all can become "addictive", by way of 'accidental habit formation' (as I call it). They are NEVER welcome, and tend to stay with us far longer then we want them to. They are considered as an "easy way out" for either frustrations to vent, not wanting to admit faults of our own, or perhaps other reason/ excuses. They come at any time of day or night, and can be at any given time in our lives. They are what I consider to be 'self-defeating thoughts', that are unnecessary in Life, and they are with us until we conquer each and every one of them... If we can conquer them; we can bring us inner peace with ourselves, and many things around us. After all, who couldn't use a little more peacefulness in Life... eh?
I call them our 'Inner Enemies', and this is:

MY INNER ENEMY LIST:

I just want to say... I TOTALLY AGREE with Bruce Lee's Dad/ movie character, stating that these first 3 are our "Inner Demons"!!! DEFINITELY what I consider to be at the top of MY list!!!

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1. ANGER (n fierce displeasure; extreme annoyance; rage, wrath.*)

2. HATRED (n intense dislike*)

3. FEAR (n distress or alarm caused by impending danger or pain*)

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From these first 3, I have found that many of the following can/ have stemmed:

4. JEALOUSY (adj. fearful of losing a partner or possession to a rival*)

5. ENVY (n Bitter contemplation of /v Grudge another's good fortune, success, or qualities.*)

6. GREED (excessive desire for something*)

7. ARROGANCE (n proud & overbearing*) / VANITY (excessive pride*)

8. "THE SCEPTIC" (n person who habitually doubts generally accepted beliefs.*)/ "I Can't" (more like "I don't wanna put forth effort"... lol)

9. ELONGATED SORROW (n grief or sadness; adj feeling pity or regret; pitiful or wretched* for too long) It's like being in a "rut" in our Life.

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* All definitions from "Collins Pocket Reference - English Dictionary" Canadian Edition

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NOTE: There is probably a few more 'Potential Bad Habits-in-Waiting', that I'm not including here... lol However, thankfully many CAN be easily avoided if we just keep our wits about us & stick with positive thoughts/ actions... yes?
Some possible inspiration:

A helpful saying from a movie I saw recently called "Mother's Little Helpers": "Blaming is the 1st sign of weakness" (quoting Jim Belushi).

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A "COOL DOWN" TRIAL:

I have been trying to remind myself of this for some time now, and have finally succeeded in the last few months at least enough to realize a start to "a better adventure" with some aspects in Life. In the fleeting seconds of such negative feelings, I have been continually trying to focus myself on something I said to someone else recently. I try to find my internal "happy place", as if I am "internally meditating". While doing so, I am also maintaining being fully conscious of what's going on around me. Yes, "multitasking"... lol I have found it very helpful to maintain calmer breathing/ thinking during the potential stressful moments. It has certainly helped me with many different aspects with others in different circumstances/situations.

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AN OBJECTIVE VIEW POINT: RE: "TRUE FRIENDS"

Good friends that we can TRULY TRUST!!! That stay true to us through the "rough" patches, and especially through times of our adhering to our 'inner enemies'... That can be trusted enough for us to let down the wall and get "close" to. To be able to "vent" when frustrated without them taking offense, even when sometimes we are frustrated with them as well. To share our darkest secrets with and know they will not judge us for it, but help us through it if need be. To actually FULLY trust that they will always be there for us... through "thick or thin" - especially when we are like this ourselves. To know that even if a long amount of time passes between visits, you are still faithful friends. THESE are the "TRUE FRIENDS"!!! These... are the ones amongst us that become part of our Lives, and that are ALWAYS appreciated & valued highly.

  Sadly they are hard to come by, and for this reason negatives "come out to play". It is up to us as individuals, to fight them off in positive ways. As continuous improvements of ourselves in these aspects are always good also, it may just be a matter of our own perspectives.
For if we don't, can we ourselves claim to be a "TRUE FRIEND" to others?

   To be on the "venting" side is great for releasing frustrations, this is true. But it needs to be done after a cool off period. And it needs to be mentioned to the one "receiving" it, that it is not meant to be taken personally (if applicable), vicious, or otherwise offensive. Because if it isn't, the receiving end is no "bowl of cherries". It may come across as intrusive, accusatory, or attack ridden. NOT what is wanted when possibly receiving it/ already frustrated and needing to vent.
   I say this because it is well known that no matter which side of the conflict (venting or receiving), both sides are not happy. The individuals involved MUST come to a solution, that ALL are happy with (yes a conflict resolution square may come in handy here). Otherwise it can only "hinder"/ lose the friendship. Thus why objectivity is ALWAYS A MUST for any "conflict resolution"!!! Without it there is no room for improvement, only negativity in MASS quantities.

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Some possible inspiration/ things to remember:

1. Everyone eventually calms down from frustrations.

2. Staying calm is the BEST way to deal with stress. DON'T FORGET TO BREATH! Most things are not as bad as they seem, and CAN & DO get resolved.

3. Whether it's by writing, emailing, chatting, calling, or doing a little research... There is ALWAYS help "out there" somewhere in your "reach".

4. Sometimes just listening until the one venting is done, is the best thing to do.

5. Choice is yours!!! You just need to make the decide, of what to do (if anything).
6. Once we conquer these inner demons, we can see more clearly how we can behave like a true friend to ourselves and others.

Until next time...

Pleasant journeys through the Lands of Dreams & Mares!!!

Chris S./ M.M. (*@^@*)
(originallywritten091309430PMishC.E.S.)