Here is some helpful info. in regards to thinking of marriage. Personally, I see this advice as NOT just for women, but men also. For it would be a shame to "fall into" any of these "traps" from others.
Father Pat Connor's new book "Whom Not to Marry: Time-Tested Advice From a Higher Authority." is designed to help evaluate if the one you're dating is marriage material. Why a priest's advice? Because for over 50 years, he spoke of with young women who opened their hearts, minds, and questions to him on the subject of "Whom Not to Marry".
I quote him:
+ "If you're thinking love conquers all, it doesn't."
+ "Change him? Forget it! He's a bad risk for marriage. I'm afraid it's just that simple."
+ "You can be deeply in love with someone to whom you cannot be successfully married."
The "NEVER MARRY Another Who..." List:
1. Cannot hold down a job.
2. Has no friends.
3. Is more affectionate in public than in private.
4. Notices all of your faults but never any of their own.
5. Has a first wife/ husband that had to sue for child support.
6. Your children don't like.
7. Wants to be a "trophy". Ex. Loves expensive clothes shopping, then wants to "show them off" at expensive places.
8. You are not attracted to physically.
9. Persists (even after a chat) with jealousy/ envy over anything.!!! Ex. You like to dance and he doesn't... his staring means jealousy. Don't marry him. BEWARE of the "GREEN EYED MONSTERS" - Jealousy & Envy - BOTH are DESTRUCTIVE!!!
~ NOTE: #s 3-6 are from a twice-married and divorced woman who sent him her own version.
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MUST HAVES:
1. Physical attraction - at least a little.
2. Get engaged for a year before deciding to marry. To ask:
a) Since it got "serious", has your love grown for one another?
b) Are the desired qualities you want in your possibly future children there?
c) Is your love one-sided, or equally as much?
d) What "impossible to know" info. about him, might I be glad to find out?
3. Pay CLOSE attention to his "lack of commitment" actions, and NEVER try to convince/ persuade him to marry you.
4. NO adhering to dating rules, because they can quickly change into ultimatums.
5. Marriage affects your ENTIRE life... NO need for casual weddings (like Las Vegas on a whim).
6. Money IS really important in marriage.
&
7. Cheap rings can mean sooo much more... Put the money toward R.E.S.P.s for your children.
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My personal notes:
To the "NEVER MARRY Another WHO..." List:
10. Has a repeatedly bad rental record/ credit history.
11. Persists to be rude to you or your family/ friends (even after a chat).
12. Doesn't listen to your concerns more than an "Uh-huh".
13. Thinks ONLY of their future/ a "gold digger".
To the MUST HAVES:
8. Mutual agreements on important Life ideas/ "things". Like aspects of respectful behaviors towards others, wanting kids (or not), morals/ principles, goals, etc...
9. As for # 6... I believe that the BEST possible way for finances to work in marriages, is a joint account for "household bills". This would include everything from your phone bill to anything NEEDED for "the family"... like children's clothes/ activities, house insurance, R.R.S.P.s, R.E.S.P.s, etc... And seperate accounts for their adult fun/ activites - Ex. coffee with Susy, going to the bar, vacations that don't involve the rest of the family, etc...
From: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/rogers-article.aspx?cp-documentid=24138270
A bit of advice to think about BEFORE deciding to "tie the knot". Hope this proves helpful and is "passed on" to others.
Until next time darlingks...
Have a safe & WICKED time wherever Life's journeys & adventures take you!!!
Chris S. (*@^@*)
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