Diary of an Arthritic 1

=> D.o.A1 – Growing Pains

Hello,
First I feel the need to say... I do not share this to "re-open old wounds", make anyone feel bad/ sorry for me, or any other negatives. This is simply a blog for the inspiration of others.

My inspirations for this blog:

> My continual efforts to help/ support those who may be in need of inspirations in many ways.

> & http://www.rebellesociety.com/2017/04/24/christiedelvesco-heal/

(~*~)

Physical Difficulties

My childhood was rough. When I was 13 months old, doctors discovered that I had JRA (Junior Rheumatoid Arthritis - Stills), so I was in and out of hospitals since it was discovered. I was told that at the age of 2 years my leg was broken over a simple clumsy fall, and I think this was my first stay in a hospital overnight that I vaguely remember. I am not sure if I was kept for observations when I was younger though. After that I was in and out for check ups that involved a minimum of my doctor, and his assistant or a learning student. I remember some times I felt like a lab experiment, as the table I was lying on was completely surrounded by medical staff/ students. Hospital check ups continued into my teen years, until finally I didn't have to go so much as my arthritis seemed to be in remission around 15 years old.

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Surgeries

In my adult life, I have now seen an "acetabulor osteotemy" (I call it a hip extension with large metal screws), both hips replaced (also metal), and a shin plate (also metal) from a broken leg. All this happened in an 11 year span, and with all these metal parts I often wish they were bionic – why not be like the "Bionic Woman"?

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Social Difficulties

I had challenges with walking "normal" due to my JRA, so naturally I was avoided/ made fun of by others in grade school. I knew this was to be "the norm" for my life at school, but I didn't realize it was also going on at home in different ways. When my sister started to take on an "I'm better than you" attitude that she felt free to say often/ treat me badly; while my mom just stood by and watched, as if a school kid watching a fight on the playground. My mom seemed to show favourtism towards my younger sister for many years, and I got blamed for things I didn't even know about/ do – "normal" for most families some may say... but I think it could have been due to my mom's possible feeling of burden/ hassle from raising me with such an issue/ problem, and my younger sister's attitudes did not help. My mom never seemed to support me much outside my JRA.

I never really realized that my mom and sister were like this still until a more recent visit. Sad but true. So I prefer to keep my distance, as I see these as "toxic" behaviours. I rarely talk to either of them now, and honestly it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that they still choose to behave in such ways towards me. I am forgiving not forgetting, and I hope it stops before any of us die.

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Change is good!

Out of all this, came my change of perspective as I decided to ignore the rudenesses/ ignorances of others, and teach myself how to find my inner strength to become the survivor I needed to be. I think I was about 13 years old then, because by 15 years old I started trying to move out. I didn't succeed until 2 years later, and I am thankful that I have never had to live there again.

And despite the fact that these events can be depressing to think about, I find positivity and comfort in knowing that I have gotten past them – at least for now.

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HOW DID I DO IT?

1. Seeing the truth of situations, and realizing when there are "toxic" behaviours/ relationships. Then distancing myself from them – mentally & physically. Mentally is harder.
2. No longer looking for/ needing comfort, support, validation, or closure.
3. Self-Awareness & Developments - Doing "my own thing(s)", and finding the values of me.
4. Continual Self-Interests based studies for life and career – ongoing life-long learner.
5. Reaching out to my community supports (friends included).
6. Remaining POSITIVE through it all – not always easy, but I try.
7. Sharing all this for those who may need some inspiration.

If you have read this far down, thank you.

Feel free to leave a comment anywhere I may share this, and to share this with anyone whom may need it.

Until next time...

Take Care & Safe Travels!

Sincerely,

Chris E. S./ C.E.S. (042717635PMishC.E.S.)

P.S.
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