=>
D.o.A1 – Growing Pains
Hello,
First I feel the need to say... I do not share this to "re-open old wounds", make anyone feel bad/ sorry for me, or any other negatives. This is simply a blog for the inspiration of others.
First I feel the need to say... I do not share this to "re-open old wounds", make anyone feel bad/ sorry for me, or any other negatives. This is simply a blog for the inspiration of others.
My inspirations for this blog:
> My continual efforts to help/
support those who may be in need of inspirations in many ways.
(~*~)
Physical
Difficulties
My
childhood was rough. When I was 13 months old, doctors discovered
that I had JRA (Junior Rheumatoid Arthritis - Stills), so I was in
and out of hospitals since it was discovered. I was told that at the
age of 2 years my leg was broken over a simple clumsy fall, and I
think this was my first stay in a hospital overnight that I vaguely
remember. I am not sure if I was kept for observations when I was
younger though. After that I was in and out for check ups that
involved a minimum of my doctor, and his assistant or a learning
student. I remember some times I felt like a lab experiment, as the
table I was lying on was completely surrounded by medical staff/
students. Hospital check ups continued into my teen years, until
finally I didn't have to go so much as my arthritis seemed to be in
remission around 15 years old.
+
Surgeries
In
my adult life, I have now seen an "acetabulor osteotemy" (I
call it a hip extension with large metal screws), both hips replaced
(also metal), and a shin plate (also metal) from a broken leg. All
this happened in an 11 year span, and with all these metal parts I
often wish they were bionic – why not be like the "Bionic
Woman"?
&
Social
Difficulties
I
had challenges with walking "normal" due to my JRA, so
naturally I was avoided/ made fun of by others in grade school. I
knew this was to be "the norm" for my life at school, but I
didn't realize it was also going on at home in different ways. When
my sister started to take on an "I'm better than you"
attitude that she felt free to say often/ treat me badly; while my
mom just stood by and watched, as if a school kid watching a fight on
the playground. My mom seemed to show favourtism towards my younger
sister for many years, and I got blamed for things I didn't even know
about/ do – "normal" for most families some may say...
but I think it could have been due to my mom's possible feeling of
burden/ hassle from raising me with such an issue/ problem, and my
younger sister's attitudes did not help. My mom never seemed to
support me much outside my JRA.
I
never really realized that my mom and sister were like this still
until a more recent visit. Sad but true. So I prefer to keep my
distance, as I see these as "toxic" behaviours. I rarely
talk to either of them now, and honestly it doesn't bother me. What
does bother me is that they still choose to behave in such ways
towards me. I am forgiving not forgetting, and I hope it stops before
any of us die.
&
Change
is good!
Out
of all this, came my change of perspective as I decided to ignore the
rudenesses/ ignorances of others, and teach myself how to find my
inner strength to become the survivor I needed to be. I think I was
about 13 years old then, because by 15 years old I started trying to
move out. I didn't succeed until 2 years later, and I am thankful
that I have never had to live there again.
And
despite the fact that these events can be depressing to think about,
I find positivity and comfort in knowing that I have gotten past them
– at least for now.
+
HOW
DID I DO IT?
- Seeing the truth of situations, and realizing when there are "toxic" behaviours/ relationships. Then distancing myself from them – mentally & physically. Mentally is harder.
- No longer looking for/ needing comfort, support, validation, or closure.
- Self-Awareness & Developments - Doing "my own thing(s)", and finding the values of me.
- Continual Self-Interests based studies for life and career – ongoing life-long learner.
- Reaching out to my community supports (friends included).
- Remaining POSITIVE through it all – not always easy, but I try.
- Sharing all this for those who may need some inspiration.
If
you have read this far down, thank you.
Feel
free to leave a comment anywhere I may share this, and to share this
with anyone whom may need it.
Until
next time...
Take
Care & Safe Travels!
Sincerely,
Chris
E. S./ C.E.S. (042717635PMishC.E.S.)
P.S.
Google’s EU user consent policy & Learn about Google’s privacy practices and how Google uses data on partner sites.
Google’s EU user consent policy & Learn about Google’s privacy practices and how Google uses data on partner sites.
